i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
even my farts smell like vagina
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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