Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
