God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
