I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
