i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
