Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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