got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
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I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
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I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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