you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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