Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She announced her abortion via fbk
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
