By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
People in love make me want to vomit
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
