I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Dear god my vagina.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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