Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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