summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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