But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize