hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Are my feet made of real feet?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
