Apparently you make a good broom.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
dude. I can hear the air.
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