Moan for me like Helen Keller
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Quick, to the slutcave!
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
