dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
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and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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