i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
