she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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