we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
