I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
there is puke in my bra ... again
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
