I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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