I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
