Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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