yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
