hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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