You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize