he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
