I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
