I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
