Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
