So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
