the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
