would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
