Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
