Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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