I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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