One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
