Ambien. No doubt about it.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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