you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
