I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
