All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
