Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
