i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
