is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize