We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
