i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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