I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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