You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
