Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
