Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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