I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
it glows. i had to have it.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
