I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
