I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
