Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She announced her abortion via fbk
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
