i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
