She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
