he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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