I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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