i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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