Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You're a waste of cheezeits
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
